Pure Understanding: What to Know Before Having a Baby

Listen to episode one above or on Apple Podcasts or Spotify​.

Kathleen shares with us some of the commonly asked questions by first-time parents, and her key tips on ‘what I wish I knew before having a baby’.

Be kind to yourself and practice good self-care

Having a baby can be physically and mentally draining, so it’s important to rest when you’re able to, practice good nutrition, and ask for help from family and friends.

Try to do something for yourself each day to help reset and rejuvenate. This can be as simple as taking a hot shower or a walk outside for some fresh air.

Talk to your partner and support person about your goals and expectations before baby arrives

It’s important to ask yourselves, how will life change after baby arrives? Who will you turn to for support if you need it? Will you need overnight help with the baby? Are you planning to use childcare? Keeping the communication with your partner open and answering some of these questions ahead of the birth is so important and can ease a lot of stress once baby has arrived.

Also, talk to each other about how you can nurture your marriage in the early days of your parenthood journey. It’s important to put aside time for yourselves as part of your new routine. Something to look forward to and to keep that spark alive! At the start, you could plan simple date nights at home with take-out dinner and a movie. Eventually, when the time feels right for you, try to ask a grandparent or friend to babysit and get some time out of the house together as a couple.

Try to keep an open mind regarding the birth and your new schedule with the baby

Remember that your birth and new schedule will be dictated by your baby. If you have a birth plan, it’s important to understand that your body and your baby may also have a plan of their own so expect the unexpected. Being relaxed and open minded can help your body actually do what it does best in labour. Be educated about your options while in hospital but remember, the end goal to any plan should be the safety and wellbeing of yourself and your baby.

Be patient with yourself during the recovery process

The postpartum period lasts for 6-8 weeks, and you can expect swelling and soreness during this time period, especially in the first few days following birth. It’s important to stay comfortable! Choose some cute and comfortable clothes from your maternity wardrobe to wear in the immediate postpartum period while you’re bouncing back into shape.

If you have a vaginal birth, expect swelling in your perineal area. For the first 24 hours following birth, you may apply ice and witch hazel to the area to help reducing swelling and promote comfort to the perineal area. In days 2-3 postpartum, you may use a squirt bottle with warm water to rinse the affected area. This simple warm water rinse will help dilate blood vessels and facilitate healing.

If you have a Caesarean delivery, speak to your nurse about planning a pain control regimen. Regular pain control will help keep you comfortable following the surgery so you can get up and moving, when it’s approved by your doctor. Once it’s safe, light walking and movement out of bed are very important parts of your post-operative recovery.

Make sure you drink plenty of water. This will help restore the blood you lost in the delivery, help establish your breast milk supply, and help prevent constipation. It is recommended to drink 1.5-2 litres of water a day. Taking a stool softener and increasing fibre intake may also be necessary in preventing constipation, which is common in the postpartum period.

Expect to feel highs and lows related to hormonal fluctuations, especially around day 3-4 postpartum, which can result in sudden and unexpected teariness. Be kind to yourself and understand these feelings are normal during the first few days following delivery! Your oestrogen and progesterone levels will be decreasing during this time and your oxytocin and prolactin levels will be increasing and fluctuating based on how the baby is breastfeeding. This may be a good time to limit visitors and get plenty of rest.

Understand these hormones will level out in the weeks following your delivery, but if you’re feeling bluesy beyond this period, there’s plenty of support available to you, and your maternal child health nurse will be monitoring you.

Breastfeeding is a learning process!

Breastfeeding can be difficult at the start. Be patient with yourself and remember it’s a learning process for both you and your baby. Your baby has been used to being fed passively in the womb through the umbilical cord for the entire pregnancy, so the latch and suck motions involved in breastfeeding are new skills for the baby to learn. If it’s your first baby, you are also learning how to hold and position the baby comfortably for feedings.

Seek the support of a Lactation Consultant in hospital and again at home if you need. If you’re having difficulty with latching and positioning, sometimes a visit with a Lactation Consultant can be the help you need to boost your morale and confidence during feedings. Lactation Consultants can also help you push through that initial nipple pain first-time breastfeeding mothers may experience from frequent feedings. There are nipple creams and gel packs available to alleviate nipple pain and hot and cold packs can assist in relieving pain related to breast fullness and engorgement.

Using a mobile app or bedside journal to help you keep track of feedings, plus baby’s urine and stool output can often be helpful during those first few weeks. The initial period following birth may be exhausting and monotonous so writing down this simple information about feeding duration and frequency can help you keep record of all the work you and your new baby are doing. It also serves as a great guide for your health care providers to refer back to during appointments. I used an app called Baby Tracker with my son and found it very user friendly.

It’s okay if breastfeeding in the traditional way doesn’t work for you. If you’re not able to latch your baby but really want the baby to have your breast milk, then there’s the option to express the milk and feed via bottle. Breast pumps are easily available.

It’s also okay if breastfeeding isn’t possible for you or isn’t your preferred choice of feeding. Whether you feed breast or bottle, feeding time is a beautiful bonding experience with your baby and your end goal will always be the same: a happy and healthy baby!

How do I decode newborn tears?

Why is my baby crying? This is such a common question among new parents and sometimes even well-seasoned parents! First of all, take care of yourself as a parent and try to remain calm. Ask for help from loved ones when you need it. Crying is a normal part of newborn development and often peaks at 6-8 weeks, then gradually decreases. Crying is the way the baby communicates their needs, so our job as parents is to decode those tears and try to understand what the baby is asking for.

This is a common list of what your baby might be feeling:

• I’m hungry

  . Most newborns eat every 2-3 hours. Crying can be a late sign of hunger. To prevent this, try to observe early hunger cues like lip smacking, rooting, and hand to mouth movements.

• I’m tired.

  Newborn babies normally sleep around 8 hours in the daytime and 8 hours at night, only waking for changing and feeding. Try to observe for sleepy cues like rubbing eyes or yawning, before the baby gets to the stage of being fussy and tired.

• I’m wet.

  Wet and dirty nappies are common causes of newborn crying. Try to check baby’s nappy both before and after feeding.

• I want to be swaddled.

  Swaddling makes babies feel secure and simulates the intrauterine environment.

  Read more about swaddling for more information on what to do.

• I’m too hot or too cold.

  Adding or removing a layer of clothing or a blanket can often help improve babies comfort level. 

• I’m lonely.

  Newborn babies love skin to skin contact and being rocked or patted.

• I’m overstimulated.

  Remember your baby is used to being inside the quiet, calm and peaceful environment that is the womb, and the hospital environment can often be the opposite: brightly lit, a bit noisy and overwhelming. During fussy periods, try to keep your baby in a relaxing environment with minimal visual and auditory stimulation.

How do I know if my baby is getting enough to eat?

Newborns often cluster feed for the first several days and appear hungry all the time, causing many new parents to panic and ask the question Is my baby getting enough to eat? Three key indicators of whether your baby is getting enough to eat are: urine output, transition of newborn stool, and the baby’s weight.

Most health providers will want to see the newborn pass urine at least once in the first 12-24 hours of life, then gradually increase to 6-8 wet nappies per day by days 6-7. This increase in urine output is directly related to an increase in mother’s breastmilk over that first week of life.

Another sign of adequate hydration is the transition of newborn stool. Meconium, or the black and tarry stool at the start will transition to greenish, then to yellow, seedy stool by day 6. Similar to the increase in urine output, this transition of stool occurs as the breastmilk supply increases over the first week of life.

Your healthcare provider will also keep close track of the baby’s weight in the first few weeks of life. It’s normal for all newborns to lose 5-7% of their birth weight in the first week of life. If their weight drops beyond 10% of the birthweight, your health provider may do a detailed assessment to check if your baby’s nutritional needs are being met.

Check with your healthcare provider on your baby’s needs based on gestational age and measurements. They will regularly be checking baby’s head circumference, length, and weight and then charting these numbers on a graph. Sometimes baby’s that are smaller or born prematurely, will have special nutritional needs which your healthcare provider will address.

How much is my baby supposed to sleep?

Some babies don’t sleep much at the start. It’s important to understand that there’s no set schedule in those first few months. In general, newborns sleep around 8-9 hours during the day and another 8 hours at night. The majority don’t start sleeping through the night until they are at least 3 months of age, but some will still be waking throughout the night at one-years-old and beyond. Often a newborn’s feeding schedule will dictate their sleep schedule. 

Frequent newborn feedings the first few weeks of life are a common cause of sleepless nights and this is normal. Commonly referred to as “cluster feeding”, this behaviour stimulates maternal milk and increases supply. It can be extremely exhausting for new parents, but gets much easier once mum’s milk is fully in. Outside cluster feeding, most newborns will wake and feed around every 3 hours.

Once a feeding schedule is established with your baby, you can think about trying to incorporate a sleep routine. Singing, reading, and infant massage are wonderful ways to spend those minutes of awake time between feedings and sleep to help establish a routine.

During this very beautiful journey of parenthood, your body will be experiencing many things both physically and emotionally, that you’ve never experienced before. It’s okay not to love every minute of being a new parent. Remember to be kind to yourself and that it does get easier over time!

Download the episode transcript here

This article was written by Kathleen Misquitta, in conjunction with episode 1 of Purebaby’s podcast, Pure Parenthood. Kathleen is a registered nurse with a Bachelor of Science in nursing, specialising in maternity and neonatal nursing.